Begalor, as practiced among the people of Belitong, is not merely a cultural habit, it represents a sophisticated form of relational diplomacy rooted in emotional intelligence and narrative kinship. Traditionally, begalor refers to the act of tracing kinship ties through storytelling, functioning as a social mechanism to uncover familial bonds and affirm shared origins. However, its meaning extends beyond genealogy; begalor has evolved into a broader practice of seeking commonalities between individuals, between individuals and groups, and among communities. It operates as a form of affective negotiation, where emotion, narrative, and empathy converge to create understanding and unity within a multilayered social structure.
The traditional social system of Belitong recognizes begalor not only as a cultural practice but as a technique of diplomacy grounded in affection and narrative. Etymologically and practically, begalor means “to trace similarities,” a process through which one seeks emotional, genealogical, or symbolic bridges between oneself and others. At its simplest level, begalor arises from the Belitong people’s custom of seeking kinship through storytelling, a narrative practice that reinforces the collective awareness that every individual is connected through shared origins, stories, and values. Yet, in a broader sense, begalor is the art of building affective proximity, emotional closeness that precedes political, economic, or structural relations.
Begalor can thus be read as a form of micro-diplomacy that places empathy and relational consciousness at its foundation. In the context of modern diplomatic theory, this practice reflects what Joseph Nye describes as soft power, a non-coercive form of influence that attracts through culture, values, and personality. However, begalor differs from soft power in that it does not operate within state-level dynamics but within interpersonal and intergroup spaces that are more organic. It functions as grassroots diplomacy, diplomacy that grows from below, rooted in social structures of mutual cooperation and emotional intimacy.
From a psychoanalytic perspective, begalor reflects a form of collective emotional maturity akin to what Erich Fromm described in The Art of Loving (1956). Fromm argued that love is not a passive feeling but an active art requiring discipline, attention, and the courage to understand another deeply. In the practice of begalor, we find similar principles; those who engage in it do not simply exchange pleasantries but probe the psychological and cultural depths of their counterparts to find emotional common ground. This is not emotional manipulation, but a structured art of empathy, where interpersonal relationships become the medium for conflict resolution.
Anthropologically, begalor has a distinct characteristic. It emphasizes personal narratives as bridges to peace. Through stories of shared ancestry, past experiences, or common struggles, an emotional synchronization emerges, an affective alignment that reduces social tension. In social psychology, this process resembles affective mirroring, the ability to reflect another’s emotions to build mutual understanding. Within classical diplomatic theory, begalor operates between two paradigms, Track I Diplomacy (formal diplomacy among official actors) and Track II Diplomacy (informal diplomacy among non-state actors). Begalor occupies a hybrid position between these two, it is informal yet possesses a socially recognized legitimacy.
This is its uniqueness, begalor requires no bureaucratic structure to function, relying instead on trust capital, a form of social trust cultivated through repeated encounters, warm conversations, and gradually deepened emotional bonds. Begalor thru a strategic theory perspective can be understood as a form of emotional intelligence diplomacy. Daniel Goleman defined emotional intelligence as the ability to recognize, understand, and manage one’s own emotions as well as those of others. In begalor, negotiators embody this skill, they read expressions, adjust conversational rhythm, and channel empathy until emotional resonance is achieved. This approach aligns with the concept of strategic empathy in contemporary international relations, the capacity to understand another’s motivations without surrendering one’s strategic autonomy.
Phenomenologically, begalor can also be viewed as a form of existential diplomacy. A diplomacy grounded in the awareness of human interdependence. In Martin Buber’s philosophy, the “I–Thou” relationship forms the foundation of authentic relational ethics. When one engages in begalor, one does not perceive the other as an object to be conquered but as an equal subject to be engaged in dialogue. This is the essence of existential diplomacy, the meeting of two consciousnesses seeking mutual understanding without power pretension.
Furthermore, begalor can be understood as a narrative practice with psychosocial functions in traditional society. Through stories of shared ancestry or experience, communities reconstruct a collective identity through dialogue. This aligns with Paul Ricoeur’s view of narrative as a medium of reconciliation, by telling shared stories, social wounds may heal as narrative provides mutually acceptable meaning. In small, interdependent communities, division threatens structural survival. Thus, begalor functions as a social immune system, preserving equilibrium through affective diplomacy. This resonates with Émile Durkheim’s functionalism, which holds that every social practice serves to maintain collective solidarity and stability.
Begalor can also be interpreted as a form of cultural intelligence, the ability to understand local symbolic and value contexts in cross-cultural interaction. In modern diplomacy, this competence is essential when actors enter unfamiliar cultural terrains. Begalor teaches that effective diplomacy depends not merely on rhetorical skill but also on sensitivity to the hidden cultural meanings embedded in everyday discourse. Interestingly, begalor employs emotion not as an instrument of manipulation but as a medium of unification. This approach parallels Erich Fromm’s concept of productive love, a creative force that connects humans to one another and to the world, rather than dependence or domination. Begalor, therefore, is the art of connecting, a disciplined and conscious sensitivity that binds individuals and groups together.
Begalor embodies an element of adaptive negotiation. Traditional negotiators practicing begalor can adjust their strategies according to their interlocutors’ emotional states. They do not follow fixed scripts but flow dynamically with the rhythm of conversation. In Sun Tzu’s terms, this represents winning without fighting, where agreement is achieved without open confrontation. Begalor also holds a performative dimension, facial expressions, intonation, body gestures, and even silence play crucial roles in signaling empathy and openness. Here lies its aesthetic value, this diplomacy is not purely rational but also artistic, a communicative art requiring intuition, emotional finesse, and high social sensitivity.
From the lens of evolutionary psychology, begalor may have originated as a biological mechanism for fostering in-group cohesion. In small-scale societies like traditional Belitong, recognizing similarity and fostering intimacy were key to group survival. Yet the Belitong people transformed this biological instinct into a complex ethical system, an instrument of reconciliation and social harmony. On a deeper level, begalor reveals that true diplomacy begins not institutionally but humanly. As Hannah Arendt asserted, genuine power is not domination but the capacity for collective action. In begalor, power arises from the willingness of two parties to share stories and emotions, a power born of reciprocity, not coercion.
Begalor thus offers a new paradigm in a polarized global context: diplomacy grounded in affection and narrative. It challenges the logic of realpolitik, which privileges interest over relationship. Begalor demonstrates that similarity is not a threat to identity but the foundation of peace. In an era where algorithms divide people into social bubbles, this technique reemerges as a model for reconnecting across identities.
Ultimately, begalor is not merely a local cultural heritage but a philosophical framework on how humanity can resolve conflict without losing its essence. It integrates Fromm’s ethical principle of productive love, Goleman’s emotional intelligence, Kissinger’s strategic empathy, and Buber’s dialogical ethics. These elements coalesce into a traditional diplomacy that is subtle, intuitive, and profoundly rational in its social context. In the end, begalor affirms that in diplomacy—as in life—the greatest victory is not when the other submits, but when both sides feel understood. In Fromm’s words, this is the highest form of love: the creative act of sustaining life and togetherness. Begalor, therefore, is not only Belitong’s diplomatic strategy but also a universal philosophy of humanity, an art of bridging differences through the power of story, empathy, and love.